March 6th, 2002
I received news that would inevitably change my worlds view & stance, forever.
The good news ” I was Not a Hypochondriac”
The Bad News “ I had cancer” Ovarian Clear Cell Stage 3 C – I was 38 years old, a wife & mother of two daughters.
Although I’d like to tell you that this news came as an utter shock & with absolute disbelief, the truth is strangely somehow I knew. I just wasn’t able to prove it, till it proved itself. I knew something was seriously wrong.
My body was under assault, feeling desperate I searched for defense.
I sought out many medical professional opinions, several internists, General Practioners, Gynecologist, Rhuematologist, Endocrinologist, Gastro, Proctologist, etc, etc. I received an assortment of diagnoses-nevertheless I was hopeful that just one would work, get me well & stop the pain.
I was told the back pain was sciatica, the lower back & groin pain was kidney stones. The fatigue was simply because I was doing too much, needed to slow down. The joint pain was fibromyalgia, the swelling was rheumatoid arthritis, Lymes Disease, Lupus or Sjogren's. The bloating & constipation was because I was getting older & I needed more fiber. The stomach swelling might be due to too much fiber, the abdominal pressure was due to the chronic constipation & irritable bowel. The painful debilitating periods were simply not concerning enough to warrant further examination. The urinary frequency was because I drank too much coffee & tea, the incontinence was because I didn't get enough fluids. The unexplained, yet rapid weight gain was attributed to my fatigue. The difficulty breathing might be sleep apnea, the leg pain was related to sciatica.
There was a cat that ate the mouse that ate the cheese that lived in the house that ignorance built & I bought it.
I could not stand for more than two minutes without feeling unrelenting pain.
I needed to sit every few steps. The back-pain was constant, cruel & severe. Ibuprophens became my daily bread.
Simple tasks were strenuous & grueling, I’d require breaks in between blow drying my hair, and applying makeup mainly because my arms & joints were weak & weary.
I’d take little bites of food, 3 bites of an apple felt the equiveant of consuming a thanksgiving day feast. My abdomen was growing, the shooting pains in my back & groin were worsening with intensity & frequency. I was literally consumed by constipation, laxatives, fiber and jarred prunes no longer provided relief, often I found myself constipated for up to 3 weeks. The slightest pressure on my abdomen caused tremendous pain, I couldn’t even rest my hand on my stomach while sleeping without feeling such pain.
Of all the cancers to which women are prey, ovarian cancer is the deadliest.
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