The essentials of prayer

I just got off the phone with a very nice man; his wife was just diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. They are awaiting verification on the stage & grade apparently there is some type of discrepancy to the type. I’m praying for her tonight. I learn so much about women through their husbands and even more about just how very scared and vulnerable the husbands and caregivers are.

This gentleman was exceptionally articulate and already fairly well educated about the disease. It’s obvious that he’s been reading up on all he can so to better understand. He spoke so warmly of his wife, I couldn’t help but cry listening as his voice cracked professing his love & deep devotion to her.

They lost a 5-year-old child back in 1994, from a rare form of cancer; the name/type escapes me now? I nearly became hysterical as he described the endless depths of his own sadness of losing a child. I needed to walk outside barefooted in the bitter cold to hide my emotions and tears from my own family. (They don’t appreciate my tears, it worries them, they’d of course prefer to hear me laughing).

The vastness of grief from the loss of their child took a toll on them both. The pain and anguish had torn them apart they separated in 1996 and got back together in 1997 when he himself was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He corrected me when I said that I was sorry to hear that he had been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer, he replied “ No, please don’t be sorry, in a strange twist of fate, cancer disguised itself as a good thing. He went on to explain that his diagnosis of cancer brought his family back together. “ You see it gave us a chance to beat the hell out of this evil monster that stole our child”. They had a common enemy, they staged a war & were no longer blaming one another. He went on to say that for so long he had to be the strong one. His diagnosis gave his wife a chance to be strong and finally allowed him a chance to weep and express weakness.

His wife a teacher (note to self) another one who works with children hadn’t been feeling right, on & off for well over a year. Her symptoms were mainly fatigue, bloating, indigestion, constipation & back pain. She had accumulated several wrong diagnoses along the way, like most of us do. She was tired all the time and sleeping more than usual, her Doctor had suggested that she see a psychologist or psychiatrist thinking her symptoms were related to depression. She never went, he laughed and said, “ She was just too tired”.

He was calling me from his garage; his wife was inside the home visiting with her two sisters who had just both flown in to be there for her. “That’s wonderful,” I suggested. “ Well’ we’ll see if it’s wonderful or not, he replied, “ right now she’s comforting them rather than vice versa. That’s okay I said “ sometimes we heed our own words of assurance and begin believing in ourselves and our power to heal”.

He found the Ovarian Cancer Blog and was reaching out for a dose of hope. Like so many he wanted to know my story, and although I’m drained from telling it, I know how valuable it is for others to know that there are survivors of this horrific disease. I’ve learned from speaking with the medical students to give a general synopsis and to wait for specific questions. I’m always asked “ what do I attribute my survivorship to”? although I’m still wondering myself, I always say “ there’s no rhyme nor reason” I’m just one of the lucky ones ( for now) always careful never to presume that this disease will never return. I mention my encounter with a stranger in the Bahamas & the doctor who said that I had a 20 % chance of surviving & then added “ but there’s no reason why I couldn’t be in that 20 % group. It became my personal goal, it’s what I strived for.

I do give credit to my team of incredible doctors and to the support and love that my family has given to me. Mostly, I give credit to God for allowing me here on earth and for providing me with a purpose to be a voice against Ovarian Cancer.

I’m adding this lovely family to my daily prayers. Prayer are essential.