Dreaming again

I've begun to dream again! It's been nearly 4 years, seems the nightmares have ceased, giving way to dreams, lovely dreams. Silly, odd dreams but nevertheless dreams. I'm grateful for these tiny blessings that time and space has bestowed upon me.

I've lost a great deal since cancer. What I missed most was certainty & my carefree moments. Those silly little uncomplicated lighthearted moments in time where nothing else matters but the very moment.

an adirondack chair, toes cooling in the June grass and the discovery of a new freckle.

An august heatwave, sweltering still, refrigerated cool crisp sheets
the chorus of crickets, beckoning nostalgia with a faint shadow, hand puppets and a slow guessing oscillating fan.


Tomatoes half past ripening, Nana lip red, soft, unclaimed, calling
trickling from tongue, teeth, lip to chin ~just as the little puppy in the clouds wanders slightly to the left, losing his bone in the old ladies purse.

Care free moments; those which we never truly appreciate till they are gone..Those little silly and significanct carefree moments
I had never thought I'd ever regain either of them again.

When first diagnosed, I believed my world would always be bleak, dark & desperate, shadowed by the obscure grips of fear & uncertainty. How I longed for just a few moments outside this darkness, familiar flashes ~free of the terrorizing clutches of cancers ambiguity.

Dreaming represents hope, as though waving me on to the next stage of my life, the stage, do I dare say~beyond cancer.

4 years cancer free! I'm eternally grateful-though quick to remind myself that the potential for reoccurance is always there, sneaking, pending, inconspicuously waiting in the wings of my life.

Since cancer, I've discovered a new strength.... resilience!